Earlier today, I heard an exasperated exclamation, "Men
are so hopeless! Argh! They are SO unorganized!" I could see my friend was
just annoyed at the fact that her work had been messed up by some random guy
and as a form of stress relief, she wanted to take it out on the whole gender. But
I didn’t like it.
As politely as I could, I chipped in amidst her tirade of
"Men can't do this... they can't do that... lazy... unorganized...
sloppy..." with, "Hey... not all men are the same. Maybe not
generalize?"
And before I've finished the syllables of my last word,
she's off again citing examples from her life about how men are deficient in so
many ways and I purse my lips.
Now the girl in question is a sweet, friendly person. Any
other day, and any other situation, she'll be chirping about something or the
other. I want this post to not be a stab at her, or anyone for that matter, who
has spoken in length about the many shortcomings of men. I am just here to give my
two cents (which were robbed from me by the friend in question, so I turned here):
I can only talk about what I know and what I've seen. Or
rather, who I've talked to and who I've seen. What I did notice was there are
exceptions. I'm not going to bust EVERY stereotype in the book. But I'll take a
stab at a few.
Men are unorganized - People, that is just not true. I know
for a fact that men can be supremely organized. A male friend of mine is so organized
he manages to exercise, go to work, maintain long distance relationships with
his parents and girlfriend... not to mention read extensively (both fiction and
non-fiction) and even watch an episode of Cosmos - on a regular basis. That's
right. He routinely devotes time to skype, thumbing through Robert Jordan and tuning into National Geographic. How about it, eh?
Men cannot cook - Here, I'd like to point out that a lot of
great chefs out there are male. And that my dad is one helluva cook. He says
that it helped during his bachelor days and that it's nothing more than a
survival skill but he's not fooling anyone: he's too good a cook. I've seen him
experiment with dishes and serve them in a flourish and all I have to do is
settle down and gobble it up! Best. Job. Ever.
Men are unemotional - Ouch. That's a harsh one, guys. And
positively unfair. I know men and boys who have teared up in front of me and I
have not lost respect for them one bit. Not one bit. It takes courage to put
yourself out there like that and I applaud it. Of course showing sad emotions
isn't all there is to it. Guys express happiness pretty well, too. That wicked
grin you've seen your buddy make... or that burst of laughter next to you at a
movie, you know what I’m talking about. Men are not robots incapable of
expressing themselves and expecting them to be just that is terrible.
Men are violent - Yikes. I've had trouble with this one. No
one wants to hear about a guy that stepped in to stop a fight or walked away
from one: they just want to know who was in the fight and who came out better
from it. Pity.
I don't.
I had a friend tell me how he would never, ever
pick a fight because he once had and ended up injuring this guy so badly, he
bled. A lot. Imagine a pool of blood. Sorry to put that image in your head, but
I'm trying to make a point. It's awful and we shouldn't encourage guys to raise
their fists or boo them when they don't. We shouldn't egg them on and make
claims that he has to "protect his/X's honour" or that he is less of
a man if he doesn't throw in a punch or two. Shame on you, if you ever have.
Shame!
A real man must be economically powerful – That has to be the worst one of them all. We see it everywhere and
every day. It is a given that men have to be the breadwinners and women (while
they can be breadwinners themselves) have to nurture and take care of children/maintain
a home. Men are expected to earn more than their partners, if they both work
and if not he will apparently fall short of the yardstick people use to measure
his worth. Are we all really that small-minded? I can safely say that I know a
couple where the woman earns more than her spouse. Guess what? No drama in that
department. They're perfectly happy. How I would love to live in a world where
men could stay at home if they pleased and took over the child rearing and
women alone clocked the hours at the office.
*sigh*
I do know that that is the case in quite a few places today
but I'd love for it to be common. I’d love it even more if it were looked down
upon a lot less, if not at all. But it will long before that day arrives and
till then...
Let's give our men a break, shall we? And hand me that wrench.
Don't look at me like that -- I know exactly what I'm doing...
